You DEFINITELY don’t see this in Florida! a poofy-haired tourist-lady exclaimed as I boarded the uptown C train at 23rd street. She was referring to the two ten-foot steel pipes that I had just threaded through the feet of the bewildered passengers. That’s right! I responded. I gotta get these things home, and they won’t fit in a cab. It was almost Christmas, so people were feeling festively forgiving.
What the hell was I doing on the C train (and after transferring at 168th street, also the A train) with 20 combined feet of hollow galvanized steel conduit pipe, you might ask?
You see, for the past ten years, I have stored my hoarder-caliber inventory of craft supplies on steel industrial shelves that covered an entire wall of my apartment. The shelves are stacked with Giant Rubbermaid tubs stuffed with fabric, felt, and fleece, and smaller shoe-box bins, containing an assortment of tape, ribbon, wire, or paint (labeled accordingly, of course). I also have wooden IKEA drawers that have survived all of my moves since college, with entire compartments devoted to scissors and rulers from the giddy summer Staples trips of my teaching days. The smallest containers, nestled in a plastic hardware organizer, house bobbins, buttons, jewelry findings, and googly eyes. You need glitter? There’s a drawer for that. Glue sticks? I’ve got you covered.
My boxes and bins do serve a purpose, but they are ugly. Thus, my ongoing design dilemma: I need to keep my supplies visible enough that I remember to use them, but also hidden when I’m not. For almost a decade, I’ve been complaining that I wanted to mount a curtain rod from the ceiling to hide the mess, but despite the fact that I have curated dozens of Pinterest boards for inspiration, I couldn’t commit to do the work to make it happen. I was determined to make my clutter-curing curtain dreams a reality before the end of 2018. It was my Old Year’s resolution.
Determined, I did my research, learning about conduit electrical pipe and iron flanges (flanges—what an awesome word!) and screw-set mounts and elbow joints that would make the project work. The supplies cost less than $75, because we already had the hand-me-down curtains (Thanks, Mom. Yes, I know they came from Pottery Barn. Yes, I know they were expensive!). My husband agreed: we would complete the project during the otherwise lazy week between Christmas and New Year’s.
Delirious from a two-day sinus infection but determined to complete the project, I went to Home Depot to pick up my materials. That was straightforward enough, but things got tricky the moment I tried to leave. I was buying two 10-foot steel pipes, which I planned to transport by myself from 23rd Street back to 204th Street. On the subway.
I somehow managed to get my cargo home without incident, and we hung the curtains without hurting ourselves or each other. Now I can make messy art and hide it when I need to do a video call for work. It’s a win-win for me, and I gave a poofy-haired lady a good story to take back to Florida.
this gruntled worker 